Just Don't Even Worry About It

I would always hear that long-distance relationships could never work.

Ours would be the exception of course.

Ours would work, because we have TRUE love.

Turns out love only gets you so far.

There comes a point when a decision has to be made. One of you has to move. You know it from the beginning.

Going into the relationship I knew that sacrifices would have to be made. Plane tickets got expensive, getting simultaneous time off became more difficult. And for me there was the added challenge of the secrecy involved in flying across country for extended periods of time. Coworkers would drill me on why I would go so far away, how I could have “friends” there. My closest friends still don’t know that I’ve even been in a plane, let alone to the other side of the country.

Time and time again we would hit that same roadblock, “one of us will have to move eventually, so who is it going to be?” I never REALLY wanted to move to the East coast. And at first he was open to the idea of moving west, but over time that option dwindled as life became better for him there. We both saw it coming, but we were both optimistic and wanted to look past the blaring obstacle, “we’ll figure it out eventually,” “we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

A year and a half passed. We crossed that bridge.

He was my first kiss, my first cuddle, my first “time,” the cause of my first airplane trip, my first love.

And now I have countless gifts, pictures, and memories to show for it that I have no idea what to do with. We didn’t end on a bad note, so it’s not like I want to go throw everything into the trash, but now pictures of happy times bring sadness. Songs I loved remind me of what won’t be.

I was never the biggest fan of Adele, but lately I can’t seem to get enough, now that I can actually feel her lyrics. There’s something comforting in knowing other people go through this kind of thing all the time, but I wish I could deal with it better. And quicker. Especially with Valentine’s day around the corner. That time last year we were together. The first and only time he came West to visit, versus the four times I went out that way. Yeah maybe I’m still a little bitter! I guess all I can do now is give it time.

Sure He and I both had our faults, and things were never perfect by any means, but it was love. But sometimes not even love can conquer the distance between two lonely people.

Source: andykinskywalker

Getting together with my friends kind of feels different lately.. part of it is the fact that we’re all just growing up and have to be more “adulty” about things, and the other part is that my secrets keep stacking up.

We all see each other so rarely these days. One works in a cubicle now, one is a manager in the retail world a state away, and another is now across the country with wedding plans that I only keep hearing about through the grapevine. To a guy I haven’t even seen pictures of yet. Guess I’m not the only one with secrets!

And then there’s me. Any and all exciting things I’ve done I can’t tell them about. Traveling across the country by myself for the first time (hey its a big deal for me, they still don’t know I’ve ever flown, let alone on almost 16 planes or so now), a road trip to Washington DC, my own potential wedding plans on the horizon. So to them I remain the boring friend who never changes. As much as I want to just yell that I do a lot more than I have told them.

But that’s what it takes to live a double life. I become a chameleon. I’m who I need to be depending on who I’m with. Which apparently I’m starting to suck at a little bit, because I’ve started offending people with jokes I’d normally tell other people.

I kind of envy those outgoing “I am who I am and you have to deal with it” kinds of people.

One of my best friends is a homophobe. As in he wouldn’t go into Urban Outfitters because of the chance of running into a gay there (if only he knew one has been in his house and stayed over)!

He calls Glee “that gay show you watch” and Will and Grace “the other gay show”.

But I overlook this stuff since I’ve known him for so many years, even if he is just one “God hates fags” picket sign away from being like Westboro Baptist’s followers, minus the whole protesting at soldiers’ funerals thing.

But someone got me thinking.. does he “protesteth too much” as they say? Is there a chance that he plays for the other team himself but uses homophobia as a way to hide it? His parents ARE pretty rabid so it’s not like he’d ever be able to come out if he was. I mean sure he’s a little metrosexual but most people where he lives are. The rich neighborhood.

He knows I went to Lady Gaga, he knows I was excited to meet Ke$ha. He knows I watch Glee and other “gay shows” and have never had a girlfriend or even expressed much interest. All the signs are there. He’s gotta know. Is he just very Don’t Ask Don’t Tell? Ignorance is bliss?

He does hang out with a lot of girls.. but I’m thinking it’s in more of a player/heart-breaker sort of way. It would make my life soo much easier if there was more to it than that though.

Or maybe he is just really homophobic. Which sucks. How are you supposed to be able to tell? Why can’t gaydar be a science?

I survived! Every year it comes a little earlier, gets a little crazier, and the deals just get.. worse? I don’t get it. I looked through the ads, saw what stores were offering, and honestly there was hardly anything worth getting excited about.

Not that I could have shopped anyway. I get the supreme joy of working in it! And where I work, the doors opened at 9pm on Thanksgiving day. Is it just me or are the corporate offices just getting more and more evil? It’s not like they have to deal with the tired and bitter masses, and get yelled and sworn at; they probably got to actually enjoy their Thanksgiving dinner with their families. Not that I didn’t get to, my family made a special point of making sure I could partake in the tradition of gratefully stuffing my face. My family is awesome like that.

I heard though, that some people were boycotting the stores that opened on Thanksgiving. Those people know what’s up! But I can’t say I noticed their absence. People were still camped outside Best Buy a long time in advance, people still brought tents to Toys R Us and wrapped lines around Walmart, and people STILL get trampled somewhere every year. I don’t get it.

Maybe next year people will sort out their priorities?

Yeah I won’t hold my breath.

Whether it’s Lady Gaga, Yo Yo Ma, Oren Lavie, or some guy playing piano in his basement, It’s almost impossible to watch a music video on YouTube and NOT see some kind of argument erupting in the comments below.

“This isn’t real music”

“This is garbage”

“Now THIS is real music, unlike that popular drivel!”

“Shaddap u deaf &%$@#”

The arguments get pretty heated (as heated as a YouTube comment fight can anyway), and usually become personal somehow. And why?

There’s a reason there is seemingly an endlessly increasing number of genres of music. Different things appeal to different people. Based on their life experiences and emotions, one person may find someone like Lil Wayne’s music and lyrics repulsive, where another person might find him REAL and relateable— or just find his voice unique.

There’s no debating that people feel strongly about the artists they love. Lady Gaga has her little monsters, Marina has her diamonds. Little musical fan armies form (Rihanna Navy anyone?), and wars are waged.

Why can’t we all just appreciate music for what it is, whether we like it or not? It’s all just musical self-expression (sometimes with an added danceability bonus).

I may not be the biggest fan of musicians like Justin Bieber or Adele (please don’t kill me) but I completely understand why people are.

Adele has a smooth and sultry voice, and sings from the heart. I just don’t particularly care for some of her songs that people seem to love.

Justin Bieber is.. well, he’s Justin Bieber. He has his target audience and has reached it flawlessly. I might hum a song from time to time but I don’t have him on my iPod.

The bottom line is— there’s a reason there are so many genres of music. There’s a reason there are so many (vastly different) artists gaining huge masses of fans.

I mean, didn’t Shakira’s choir teacher say she sounded like a goat and wouldn’t make it in the industry?

Music is music, whether or not it’s the kind of music YOU like. Let’s just be glad we have options to enjoy (or not)!

It’s not that I don’t like Halloween. The chance to dress up and have fun with friends and not have anyone bat an eye is great!

But literally for the past 5 years I think it’s been, I’ve done basically nothing. Unless handing out candy counts as something (it doesn’t).

I’ve been either busy, or working, or just generally feeling lame that I can’t go trick or treating anymore. Who says free candy needs an age limit?! Other adults, that’s who. Adults like to make adulthood as sad as possible for other adults. Why is that? Stupid adults.

At 22 though, I don’t really feel like an adult. Especially since I look 16. Though maybe I could get away with trick-or-treating.. maybe they’d let it slide with a “You know, you’re just about too old to be doing this.” And I could reciprocate with a “Yeahh guess this’ll be my last year.”

I wonder how fast I can whip up a costume :)

Wii U- not gonna lie, I’m kinda excited for it after seeing it at e3 awhile back, especially with the Zelda tech demo they showed.

Sure the name sounds like it should be the name of some kind of nerd University, but the idea behind it is solid. When you think about it, it essentially turns any TV into a big Nintendo DS. Pull back on a slingshot on the controller’s screen and release, and it hits a target on your TV. Just sounds fun. Plus it sounds like Nintendo is finally deciding to try and keep up graphically with other systems. Though those graphics are apparently going to be up to par with current-gen systems, not necessarily next gen. Which is a little disheartening, but Nintendo knows it’s not always about graphics, and I haven’t REALLY been disappointed with the gameplay aspect of Nintendo yet!

I am a little worried about 3rd party support though, as the hardware is a little restrictive. The Wii had a hard time getting support initially, since it had limited graphical capabilities and a completely different control scheme than the other systems. That often resulted in dumbed-down versions of games by 3rd parties. 1st party games were some of the few truly solid titles, and that’s a shame. Why can’t Rareware come back to Nintendo, where it belongs?? :(

Plus, so far it looks like only one person can use the screen controller.. That’s both good and bad. For one, it makes the system basically a souped-up Wii for any extra players in a multiplayer game, which negates half of the draw to the Wii U. But on the plus side, I reckon that controller is going to be freaking expensive, so not needing to shell out Lord knows how much for 3 additional screens is kind of nice.

So I guess Nintendo’s main point is that the emphasis is going to be on “U” (you) this time around, not so much the group experience. That’s not to say that multiplayer games on Wii U won’t be fun, they’ll just be a little limited.

But I guess time will tell what will become of the Wii U. I’m skeptically optimistic as always. Don’t let me down Nintendo!

People need to freaking sort out their priorities.

Pick your battles.

(via andykinskywalker)

Someone just sent me a video saying how Rihanna sold her soul to the devil, and described all the “hidden meanings” behind the “Umbrella” video. And you can’t go anywhere on Youtube without someone accusing some musician of being Illuminati. Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Rihanna.. Basically anybody who’s popular.

And I’m sorry but all of that is SUCH a load of garbage. A few years ago “triangle” meant gay, and now it means Illumanti? I gotta say though, the stories they make are pretty intricate, it’s kind of entertaining in its own way.

I wonder if any of the producers of those music videos think “Dude lets throw in some stuff people say is Illuminati so people talk about it more.”

Friggin’ conspiracy theorists :/